On trying to be inspired…….
Ah! I'm cured!!
It has been 6 long years since I wrote anything note-worthy, I was mentally beating myself when I came across the line 'Thinking on Paper' and I thought Gazooks! How can one think on paper? But suddenly my Muse appeared, after all these years the fickle temptress appeared, dancing on my screen and the words just started gushing in out like the water down the drainpipe whose blockage is removed and I just kept keying it in.
My fingers flew, and danced across the keyboards endlessly, no, I didn't even have the time to think if it made sense, I was in grip of this fever and tales 6 years long poured out of these nimble fingers along with blood. As I keyed in what would've been reams of paper, but in computer world turned out to fit into one single disc! Finally, exhausted my half-worn fingers stopped and as the mammoth file saved itself my computer slowed down dangerously. 6 years is too much of space, and on a computer it turned out to be precisely 575 Mb space!!
I quickly decided to unburden the poor soul and cut a DVD. Now, I'm just letting my convalescenced fingers, which are just stubs, a bit of work and bidding you a cheerio, as I rush to my Shrink with this DVD. 6 years of treatment and finally I'm there, he kept asking how I feel on those sessions where I unloaded my wallet and parked my salary in his account, now he'll know what I felt finally. Someone who had the remarkable persistence for truth 6 years, the constant digging into my 6 month old infant memories Deserves to know the Truth. Now I'll go up him and say like good ol' Jack Nicholson in 'Few Good Men', "You want truth, you Want truth, You want truth! You Can't Handle THE Truth officer' and toss the DVD on his desk and march out.
Now let him swim, wade, trudge through the 6 years he kept persisting about, digging like a worm, and retire himself into a mental health facility with the savings he made of me. Glad to know my range of good karma includes paying for his care for the rest of the life when the white coats get to that ambulance-chaser. Adiós amigo!
PS: How do I get the blood off the keyboard or the keyboard off the blood??
Do you HATE receiving BILLS each month?
I don't open them immediately, you know, I make a nice pile with it and walk past feeling great about so many people needing my attention. I love to see the molehill grow into a mountain. Then when the end of the month comes into picture, I sing 'My favourite things' from the musical 'Sound of Music' settle with my chequebook and favourite Parker and happily open them with my personalised and customised letter opener.(my lovely hands)
It feels like Christmas all over again. I open it and scan the amount and quickly make out a cheque, I feel so important issuing cheques. It delights my soul, you may think when I'm at the end of the pile I may feel sad but no, the Euphoric effect lasts a long time. After issuing the cheques I reconcile my bank statement, once I'm through with it I'm delighted to know that my salary covered it all once more, without an inch of spare space, like a perfect fitted glove and I rub the two coins that has been left untouched in my trouser pocket and happily walk to the bar whistling 'I'm in heaven' to blow it all away! Lol
Do you think twice when someone asks you for money?
Why Wiz did you have to ruin my evening tea by bringing up the ghastly topic of money?
I just reach into my pocket and press the last two coins into the requester's palm, and if they do a curiously close imitation of a Goldfish I realise the prices have gone up and reach for my cheque-book, remember I previously told you how I Love writing cheques. Makes me feel very important, so as the requester is cooling his/her heels I write down a cheque in my best handwriting sign it with a wonderful flourish and hand it over to the requester who switches from the Goldfish look to the eager pup in an instant (fashions change so rapidly these days!)
As the eager pup bounces out of my house, it also bounces out of my life. I never see it again, even if I spot it again, it plays a curious game of hide and seek with me. Why just this morning I set my eyes on a long lost friend! I was delighted to the depths of my soul but the moment I caught his eye I swear I saw him dive into a bush. Well....... prodded by my helpful nature I went to check on him and see if he was OK, I peered into the bush and said, "hello"
Boy was he rattled! A curious troubled look came into his eyes and that look worked like flash of lightning on me soul and I remembered where I'd seen that look before, a year ago when he came for money! I hastened to assure him I'd forgotten all about it but the moment I said the word 'money' all I had in front of me was a cloud trail of dust.
Well anyway, I just told myself probably the poor soul was a look alike whom I'd scared out of his wits and ambled along back to my business which I'd forgotten by then, thanks to the unusually recurring experience of people diving into the bushes, so finally I headed back home whistling my favourite tune, 'I'm in heaven.'
Do you want money? Should I draw out my pen and cheque-book?
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